A little bit of nothing really….

To Quote Britney: “oops, I did it again”. I promised myself that I would stop all the partying and late nights, but instead I went on a pub crawl and the next night I stayed up till 3ish… Why do I have absolutely no self control?

Just over two weeks until holidays. I cant wait, purely because I get to see my friends and family again, mostly my dog. Yeah, im counting down the days (18 fyi) and I said I would not do that, I would live in the moment… but Im bored of the moment… I want time to fly.

I have not taught for a month now and its become too natural… any one know of a man I can marry who will support me for life? hehe.                                                                              I have a full week of doing nothing, again… its finals now, so they’re all writing tests. I have not been told that I wont be teaching, but they haven’t told me for the last month, so yeah… I assume.

The festival is on this week too, but only comes alive at night, so I haven’t seen the full thing yet… SO this king nari fest is a heritage festival, its beautiful, so many lights and flowers…. dancing and tons of stalls.They opened it with a giant parade which lasted about three hours. Then there was plays and shows etc. I avoided it because I hate watching the animals being ridden, literally just makes me cry, like on the spot I just burst out in tears. I Have had many a people casually walk away from me as I am wiping tears away from my eyes. hahahah.

On the bright side, the new shipment of teachers will be in next term and all the negative old teachers are leaving- yay. Not that they are bad people, gosh no… beautiful hearts but too much drama. So im so thankful for the upcoming change and new adventures.

Sadly, a few of my good mates will be leaving but if they are true, they will stay in touch. If not, they influenced my life, taught me a lesson and are continuing on their path… no hard feelings. 🙂 so that’s all for now… 🙂

xoxo

 

 

 

CODE BLUE… ITS GOING DOWN!

You know when a boy says all the right stuff to you… you walk away for a little while and when you return he’s grabbing some girls bum and she is kissing him…. yeah! STORY OF MY LIFE.

Surprisingly, I just laughed. I have become so used to people doing stuff that I’m morally opposed to.

I watch videos on FB and My heart beats super fast when I see an animal being featured because I know humans are evil and this animal is probably being hurt or about to be killed. (n 90% of the time I’m correct)

 

However, I have become heartless to humans… like I am not going to hurt them and I’m still going to try help as many as I can… duh!!! But I don’t feel much for Their well-being. I speak like I am not one of them… hahahah!!

Anyway, this is just a blog about my continuous disappointment in humans, in men and the fact that I may have given up on people changing.

So, not a positive one at all.

I DON’T LIKE THAT…. LETS ADD SOME POSITIVE STUFF, SHALL WE.

—Three weeks left of work, then a new adventure begins. super excited.

I am leaving Lopburi, moving an hour away to Ayutthaya. It will be a good change, new people and hopefully more teaching.

— I waxed, lol and now I have a red line on my upper lip cause it was shit wax and it ripped my skin. ( its funny, I look like Hitler)

— I’m finally toning up again, tired of jiggling… yay ,me! also, sweating is gross lol

— my besty is staying in Thailand… she was gonna move but is now staying to study… woHOO.

— FESTIVAL STARTS THIS WEEKEND… ill write about it next time.

—Get to see my doggy soon, so hyped.

—okay, that’s all folks!!!

 

Finding peace in weird moments

Now at the risk of sounding like kungfu panda I think I have discovered some inner peace. Things that would bother me soooo much back at home are now insignificant and actually make me laugh to think about how much power it had over me.

Okay, contextualise…….

So yesterday was my sperm donors birthday.  Well, he was married to my mom and they had me in the conventional sense I guess, but he was not a dad to me, hence his nick name.

Moving forward, I wrote him off many years ago and have had people lecture me for days about forgiving and making peace. The thing is I have made peace and have forgiven him but that doesn’t mean I need to develop a relationship with him. This was years ago- why do always go on a tangent?

 

Soooooo, I have not wished him happy birthday for years, why should I? But yesterday as I looked at the date I remembered it was his birthday and I felt the conviction to text him… Nothing soppy or mean, just a simple “happy birthday”. Why not make someone feel appreciated, or loved, or special?

I just had so much peace in me that I felt like I wanted to do this. And that even if I did not get a reply I would be ok.

Thailand is doing what I wanted it to do, help me grow and be a better person. I have a long way to go, I know this but baby steps. Yay 🙂